Early Alzheimers?

Perhaps there's something about the number "22" that makes it so difficult to remember. Because for this past year, I knew that 21 sounded a little too young and 23 seemed too old, yet 22 just didn't seem right. I always had to think twice, if not more, to figure out how old I really am. Sometimes I even have to subtract 1985 from 2008 to be really sure. And now I have less than a month for it to sink in before it's time to familiarize myself with the number "23". Is it just me or does 23 somehow seem a lot older than 22? Ironically, people in the office refers to me as the "little one". Even more ironic is the fact that some of the older women find me to be intimidating. It's a double-edged sword. And in the last few weeks, I've banked up enough overtime to take an entire day off.

You know, I'm actually quite surprised that I haven't full out lost my mind yet. Recently I've had another dose of God's funny humour when I realized that after vowing to never work in an office cubicle but will instead strive in the service sector that I actually am working in an office cubicle now and serving over 500 staff and students everyday. Oh, the irony. Don't get me wrong; I love my job. Well, maybe not love.. but I really do enjoy it a lot. I've been stretched and challenged to do more than I thought I was capable of. It has been a real personal struggle too, as I'm fighting with myself as to whether I should try harder to mature and try to fit in or if I should embrace my youthfulness and take it as it comes. How silly was I to think that all the stress of balancing and juggling will be over once school is done and over with? I sure have been proven very silly indeed.

But through it all, if there's one thing I learnt, it is to rely on God more and more. As much as I miss Cyrus, my friends, my family, and all that I'm familiar with in Vancouver, I know that I must go through with this. God has called me here and I know that there is a lot of growing to do. I've failed many times in the past at attempts to guess what God's plans are for me, but I do have a strong gut feeling that He's going to call me away someday - beyond Vancouver and Edmonton. I don't know when, I don't where, nor do I know how long. But I do know that I want to be ready.

Now that I have more time to myself, I'm learning to spend more time with God and better quality time at that. It is so amazing yet so extremely difficult to pull away from the world and all its busyness and fully immerse in Him and all that is good. Oh precious is the flow that keeps me white as snow. There's no other fount I know. Nothing but the blood of Jesus. As I was commuting to work this morning, the following song came on my playlist. I've never heard it before but the lyrics sunk in real real deep:

Every now and then I get
a little wrapped up in myself and I...
I can't see you reaching

Every now and then I get
a little overwhelmed by the world
and I can't hear you calling
You have always told me
you'll always be there.
You are only one prayer away.

Every now and then
You whisper peace to me
with your tender words
unexpectedly.

And when I'm at the end
and taking my last breath
and drowning in my pride
I got nothing left

Oh and I can see you
coming around the bend
Yeah you're taking me
to that place again.

FFH Every Now and Then


Took the words right out of me.