Despite the million things that are still running through my mind and all the things I have been trying to juggle, this has been one of my best weeks. Funny I had just deemed it as one of my worst. Sure, my stress levels have been off the charts and just yesterday, I got so upset from fighting with my husband that I just took off with the car to recollect myself. But as I sat there crying to the sound of rain, a sense of peace washed over me. I don't usually hear God so clearly. But through the hysteria, I heard three simple words: You love him. And that was all it took for me to put my car into drive and back home I went. He was waiting nervously on the couch when I opened the door, still unlock from when I had stormed out. It was obviously he was rattled and the expression on his face told me he was truly sorry for lashing out at me earlier. It was the shortest yet fiercest fight we've had. And the resolve was even stronger. We both walked out with a deeper love and understanding for each other, and gratitude for God's grace.
After we were ready to move on, we quickly headed over to church for our praise team practice which we were already late for. Boy did I ever miss spending time with our team. It was exactly what I needed. I love it when practice feels like a time to just chill out and jam. It was so much fun worshipping freely. Not worrying so much on sounding good but just praising God for the love and joy of it. I even broke out into a little happy dance when we started playing Not Be Shaken on the fly. Our pastor who had joined us for the practice actually walked up to the stage and asked me if I could do that on Sunday. It was a good night indeed. Not only did we rekindle our marriage, but more importantly, I felt right with God. There was nothing holding me back or anything in the way. That closeness... it's been way too long. It's like finally being able to go for a run on a beautiful day after being cooped up for the whole winter, except a million times better! So liberating! THAT, is what worship should feel like.
2 comments:
I have been wishing that blogs would have a like button, cause sometimes that all that needs to be said! I am so glad that you are working things out and getting everything put in order!!! Love ya!
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