Lost Muse (Reward Available)

I'd call it a writter's block but I'm not exactly dealing with a paper, which actually sounds like a much easier task at this point in time. Lately, I've been finding myself stressed out and lacking motivation and inspiration. In fact, if you look at the various aspects and projects going on in my life at this moment, everything just seems to be stuck. Yes, I guess that's how I feel.

Weekly meetings have left me drained and my brain feels fried. I'm down to the reserves of my patience and energy. As if sitting through hours of "discussing" isn't enough, I have to go through my flooded inbox for more follow-up. It's interesting how these two committees are quite the opposite from each other. One is productive and always comes with a long to-do list, the other feels much like a waste of time and makes me want to pull my hair out. One is full of people with lots of ideas, direction and focus, the other with indecisive people who can't figure out what to do or what they want. Some days, I get so fed up I seriously considered dropping everything just so people would wake up and start doing what they're supposed to. But who am I kidding. I could never do that. But why do we keep talking about nothing? Do we really have to ask the same questions over and over again? Honestly, I've been on a lot of wide-ranged committees and worked with a lot of difficult people. But this particular bunch is extra trying. Are my expectations really all that high? They make me feel like an arrogant OCD control freak :(

On another note, I can't believe it's June already. That means we've been planning for over half a year for one of these committees already! At least I'm glad to say that our time has been a worthwhile investment. I really hope I can say the same for the other one. And PWGSC finally called me back saying they have already staffed someone. I already knew it but it was nice of them to officialize it. And I just got an email from our Undergrad Chair telling me they managed to get the posting fast tracked and for me to keep my eyes open for it. Not sure if that's a yay or nay. I was really looking forward to getting July off. But either way, progress is a good thing. I'll be happy if at least something moves forward for me. It's not very nice to feel stuck.

Speaking of move, I'm not sure how we'll have time to move. Out of the time I took off from work, I had only managed to get some of the cleaning done. I miss living with my parents and not having to cook and clean. (Jenn, you are totally my hero. I don't know how you have time to take care of 2.5 babies and everything else!) We can barely upkeep our tiny little place. I should consider taking up my friend's suggestion of doing rotations for cooking supper. It's such a struggle to find the time and energy to do everything. The biggest problem is the fact that our weekends are even busier than our work weeks. Two meetings this weekend, and I'm already feeling exhausted. So glad I booked massages for Hubby and I. We will definitely be needing them! I'm seriously losing grip on my sanity. Not too sure how I'm going to make it to July.